There is a saying in the Goddess Yoga community that there is a "before" Goddess Yoga version of ourselves and an "after".
Can I share my "before"?
I was living in Wilmington, NC and my life looked beautiful from the outside- I had a my own yoga studio, a beautiful family, lived right by the beach, and a seemingly successful marriage.
But under the surface I was literally dying...I was craving freedom, I needed fun, I was burned out, I felt trapped, my body was sick from teaching 3 hot yoga classes a day and the stress from debt we couldn't pay- I was a mess.
I was looking for something, anything to feel better.
I was approached about offering a style of yoga that was bellydance inspired and very different at our studio so I decided to try it.
As we began to move on our mats in such a sexy way I was shocked at first, then the joy and the relief of moving my body in this way washed over me I felt so much pleasure it literally made me laugh! Then every other girl in the room began to giggle and laugh and then the joy of freedom in our bodies and the fun we were having literally took over us all.
I hadnt felt like this since my 20's when I was dancing in clubs and living simply for me- for what I desired and wanted.
As I moved the longing inside me for that young, carefree, sexy, happy girl I used to be welled up so strongly I literally cried.
As we ended up in savasana ,tears streaming down my cheeks- something inside of me had changed.
I saw clearly that I was living my life to try to make my husband happy, I was giving him everything I possibly could, sacrificing every freedom I wanted, to try to make him feel safe and secure, AND it wasn't working- I had been putting myself last for so many years to try to please him and we were still miserable.
I decided that day, that I was done. I was going to start to do the things I needed to be happy. Leaving that class I went into my room, crawled under the covers and cried for hours. Then pulled myself together, sat my husband down and told him shit was about to change.
And it did. Something deep inside of me shifted- and I have never looked back.
For those of you who practice Goddess- How has it changed you?